Non, non, non!! Je suis le CELEB!!!!!

(Today's title: No, no, no! I am the celeb!)

I am happily seated inside the Delta Crown Room -- thanks to my Papa. He has never cared about Mom slumming it in airport waiting areas but when he knew I was about to have a layover around so many commoners....he immediately signed me up for a guest pass in the lounge. I was allowed to bring a plus one. Mom's lucky like that. I graciously rescued her from the terminal and told her to be my guest.

I was rather excited to entire my new domain... I feel like I belong. Louis Vitton on every arm, expensive perfume floating through the air, free ALCOHOL (Jack Daniels, my lov-ah...)...but instead...my excitement was quickly diminished when I realized I am not the only celebrity here.

Unbelievable. There is always someone trying to steal my thunder. Today?

ELIZABETH BERKLEY.

You may know her from such stellar films as "Showgirls." I'm far too innocent for that trash...so when I saw her lovely face I immediately launched into my well-memorized monologue from the award winning, emmy deserving episode where "Saved By the Bell" (best show ever) examined how drugs can ruin your life. Peeps were impressed. Not that I could talk, mind you, but that I could re-enact that entire scene. Tears, big hair and everything.

Now listen up kids. There is a moral to be learned here. Too much caffeine can ruin your chances to make out with Zach Morris.



It could also get you kicked out of school, fired from your job, and evicted from your apartment.

But what really matters is ZACH MORRIS. So focus, little ones. Drugs kill...

...your love life.

:::end anti-drug soapbox:::

So that said, I do not love the Crown Room the way I should. I am not on my pedestal here. Silly Jesse Spano/Showgirls Star/Elizabeth Berkley is stealing all my attention. In a moment I shall try and avert everyone's attention to me by performing a brief routine from Swan Lake. I love ballet on layovers.

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In other news it has been a great day so far. We began the morning with a lovely walk through town. We then continued preparing for the trip - which included a brief freak out from yours truly. I just wanted to be sure Mom didn't forget me.

And for the record...AUNT SQUOOSHLE. I am not drugged.

We tried that. The other night. Didn't go over so well. Apparently I am immune to Xanex. Good thing, too. Because what have we learned today, boys and girls? Ah....yes. That DRUGS CAN RUIN YOUR LIFE....and by "life" I mean "opportunities to make out with hot boys from 1986."

Anyhoodle.

Uncle Puff Morgan picked us up. A Puff Pick-up! Yea! He brought coffee. For mom. And for me!? NOTHING. Unreal. He wouldn't even let me drive. I still love him, though. Mainly b/c he's the daddy of my crush, Rutherford.

Our flight to NYC was pretty sweet. Whole row to ourselves. So I didn't have to stay on the floor. I actually got a seat. LIKE I DESERVE.

Once in New York, Mommy took us on a Lay-Ov-Adventure! (Adventure While on Layover. Just go with it.)

We hopped a train to a nearby hotel and I spent hours loping through the yard and getting treats for performing all my bests tricks. I have to say, we could have sold tickets to the performance. It was that stellar. Or should I say: I AM THAT STELLAR.

We had a lovely lunch inside the hotel...hung out inside for a while...and then I got to go back for Round II of Mayesie Plays on the Side of a Busy New York Freeway. I. Am. Exhausted.

BUT! There is more! As we returned to the hotel, Mom and her keen eyes spotted a lovely patch of grass just outside the terminal. One last trek to let me play...and lo and behold...THERE IS MY TWIN!

Gasp. She was just stunning. And sweet. Good gracious we were bff's instantly.

Her name? Luna. She is a world-traveller! Her mom is an assistant for a major Hollywood Producer (she looks famous as it is) and goes all over the world...she was just in Hungary...and 5 year old Luna goes everywhere her mom goes! Just like me! What a special moment. I think we'll be friends for life. I bet Luna could go in with me on a private jet....

So ... so far so good. Besides the celeb who has ruined my reign over all of Delta Airlines, it has been a tremendous day.

Now I just have to figure out how to break it to Mom that I'm going to sit in First Class. I'll be dining on Lobster Tails while Mom breaks into those plastic box lunches.

What can I say? I'm the Mae Mae. I don't do Coach.

More later, my fans. Don't forget to send me some love back, you hear? If you're lucky ... I may even send you some MaeMail from my trip.

Love & Licks,
Mayes
XOXO