....And then I might have bought a Bentley when mama wasn't looking.

Today was an important day in the life of Mayes Capitol Courage. Today I had the chance to redeem a scar from my childhood.

Some of you who followed my French adventures last summer may remember those horrific two days where mother left me at home to go to Monaco. I've had a hard time getting over it. In fact, even the mention of Monaco makes me go all weak in the fur. Mom has been talking to her friends from Italy who she normally hangs out with she's here... and a friend in Cannes...but so far, so good. It looks like her days of wretched abandonment are over. She says it has more to do with making the most of the time she has here with Papa. I know what it really means is that the bills from my appointments with Dr. Phil to help heal me of my excessive panic attacks post-Monaco-breakdown are not something she wants to see again. So. Chick ain't leavin' this pup behind again.

***crossing paws***

At any rate, today was the day she made up for the most harrowing experience of my life. She was taking me to Monaco. Do you hear me, my people? I said, SHE WAS TAKING ME TO MONACO!

No Italian doctors on this trip, peeps. Just me, my mama, my papa and a convertible that was ready to roll.

I spent like all morning picking out a good outfit but I think in the end I settled on the right thing. Not too flashy, not too over the top. Just right. You know how I know I looked good? Because some things you don't need to question. Some things are just fact. I was so good looking on the beach today that waiters were tripping over themselves. I would have helped them up but I had to play it cool. You know. Aloof.

Exhibit A:

Exhibit B:

Now, one person who was rolling a little rough today on this adventure was none other than my mother. She started drinking at high noon. Pray for her.She made all of these excuses because she kept rambling on about how happy she was to be on the beach. You see, we'd stopped in Nice on our way to Monaco to stroll through the city and stick mama over there on a beach for a few hours (you see her, right? The one with the mojito in her hands at noon? Ok, good. This will be important to my case when I appear before the board of People Who Want Animals To Be In Stable homes. Just take notes, alright?).

Anywho. Mama was one happy lady. We ate at Le Castel on the western end of Nice.
I would tell you how the food was but the waiters were so undone by my beauty that they kept forgetting to bring me my plate of des frites. Finally I was over those boys like a ex-boyfriend from Junior High. Over. It. So I decided to continue my Nice Tour of Mayes' Hotness ...

At the Nice Fountain
Trying on hats in the old market. I think it might have been too big. Thoughts?
I tried to see if these fish thought I was hot but they ignored me. French can be very rude sometimes. [now remember if it any time you need to see my good looks in better detail, simply click on the photo to enlarge.]

I hit another few locations to show off ... (Auntie Melissa, I bought you this vespa. Hope you like it. I am fed-ex'ing home to you in DC. You're welcome).
Oh, and for the record, those suds were ALREADY IN THAT FOUNTAIN! I had zero to do with that little prank. Scout's honor.

When the wind started treading on my ability to be the most stunning species in the South of France we knew it was time to head out to Monaco. On the way out of town I decided I needed a souvenir. Here's hoping it won't cause a problem in customs.We took all three Corniches to Monaco. If you're ever on La Côte D'Azur, you must enjoy the incredible views from all three. The Grande Corniche is the best but you'll get the most out of dropping in and out of all three. Just as we were coming off of the Moyenne Corniche and heading over to the Grande, we saw something in the distance. Now, Mama loves the corniches but for some reason had never stopped in La Turbie. I am so crazy glad she did. Not because of this Roman ruin (though it was purty dang cool) but because I managed to meet new people and make new fans. Think I'm joking?That's Julie. I call her the Ham Lady. She and her delightful husband were having a picnic when I came trotting by. "Oh! Regarde le petit chien! Silky?" Because mama is so intent on having everyone know that I'm a YORKSHIRE TERRIER not a silky, she felt the need to correct them. And when they realized we were American, they were quick say, "Nous aussi!" And so we chatted. Whilst mama, papa, Julie and her fabulous pilot husband (hey, Jer, howsa about you hook us up with First Class seats on the way home, m'kay?) talked, I started to stare at their picnic. And before long, I was a part of it!

Poor mama. Poor papa. Julie pulled me into her lap and I had fresh green apples, brie and thinly sliced ham. It was H-E-A-V-E-N.

Then we took photos together so we could remember this moment for-EVAH.

And that, my friends, is how you win friends and influence people. I'm just saying. I am considering hosting a conference on how to immediately overwhelm people with how unbelievable you are. And score brie and ham from strangers.

Soon it was time to go. Mama said Monaco was calling. Mom just gets giddy the closer she gets to that little province...
Though the memories of her abandoning me last year for this stupid country still ring in my head, I will have to say the sight of it from La Turbie did help take the sting out of last year a little. As we started to leave for the final corniche, I was momentarily stunned by the invasion of two other four legged creatures. Granted, they were no match for me. Goats. Hmph. Thanks for the cheese, dudes! What else are you good for...Anyhoodle. When we reached Monaco I will openly confess that I immediately put aside my chilhood scar. I NEEDED TO MAKE ROOM FOR THE CASINO! Hotel De Paris! The Yachts! THE REALLY, REALLY RICH DOGS WHO WANTED TO MAKE OUT WITH ME!
Granted, it was all fun and games until I saw this looming in the distance. The hotel where Mama and Squooshle stayed last summer. Without me.
But then Mama took me in the hotel next to it and all was forgotten. Hello, new home! Hotel De Paris, Je t'adore!
While Mom was distracted I bought another yacht.
What can I say? I'm a little dog with big dreams, people. You can sit there and dream your little dreams about how you'd like to have buttered popcorn at the movies tomorrow night. Me? I shoot high, folks. One yacht ain't enough. Two? That's more like it.

Now I'm just beyond tired. Working through childhood trauma is not for the faint of fur.

Mama and Papa are sipping on Rosé wine out on the porch and I'm too tired to remind mother she's been drinking since noon. Being the child of a woman this unhinged is so trying....

Love, Licks and an Overnight Stay on My Yacht(s),
The Mae
xoxo