I Can't Tell A Lie

Ok, that's totally false. I can tell a lie. I tell them all the time.

Gosh, Mom, no. Of course I didn't chew up your favorite pair of patent leather heels. Who did? No clue!

What? Someone ate the chicken off of your plate and there's no one here but the two of us? Nope, sorry, Mom. Wasn't me.

Heck, no, Mama! That dress doesn't make you look fat at all. Fits like a glove.

Alright, so, maybe I do fudge the truth a wee bit from time to time. But in this case, Humans Who Love Me, I speak truth. Today....today was pure perfection. No, seriously. I mean that. I realize I tend to overstate things like that time I told mom her highlights looked totally real, but this time is full on reality. No faking. Swear.

It included a little of this

A little of that

And some more of thisAnd most importantly, the return of my French lover (cue swells of romantic music):We had declared today a stay in Cabris day...due to the fact my mother is lame ... er, I, uhm, I mean ... due to the fact that my mother and father have far exceeded their cultural and educational goals for this trip and chose to spend a day digesting well-written literary classics whilst enjoying the sunshine (pssssst: that's code for my mama wanted to tan her pale skin and read good, solid fiction like The Help and American Wife and the like). So I agreed to her plan. Not like I could drive that convertible on my own. And so we set out for breakfast in the village. Bread was good. Jams, also good. Coffee? Delightful.

However, I was fairly...yawn...bored with mama and papa chattin' all political and deep and so on and so .... zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz........... when lo and behold I hear pawed footsteps behind me. And when I look up I see...HIM. (seriously, dude, CUE INSTUMENTAL MUSIC TO GIVE YOU CHILLS.)

Last summer we'd connected on a level I'd only seen on film. I wasn't sure I'd ever seen him again. And if I did, a man like that surely wouldn't stay single for a year. And yet, this morning, there he was, sniffing me, pawing me, and simply behaving like the big French brut I'd remembered. Sigh.

I was very displeased to learn Mama was ready to go. I was barely done making out, er...I mean, CATCHING UP with my beau. Alas, Mama is selfish and couldn't care less about the needs of her own daughter. And so we left. Back to the house we headed...the day was stunning and Mama and Papa wanted to soak it all in...and yet....

At the end of the day all I can do is stare at the setting sun and drown my sorrows in a Chateau Du Selle. I pondered jumping off of the ledge at the house and seeing if the sounds of a four pound skydiver would grab his attention and he'd come running to save me. Who knows if we'll be reunited tomorrow, Sunday...or if I will have to wait until next summer. Unclear if my puppy heart can handle such distance. Pray for me. I'm depressed.
I am not sure if I can survive this kind of heartache. Now that night has set in the darkness seems as though it has taken over my heart in addition to taking over the sky...

and....end scene.
(psst, this is where you start your wild applause....)
((and where I take my bow))
(((and where you throw roses)))

Merci.
Et...bon soir.

Love, Licks and Completely Over the Top Emotional Hyperbole,
Mayes Capitol Courage
XOXO