Blame It On My Mama

So we got you peeps all revved up and then .... nothing.

I've gotten all your emails, text and Facebook messages begging for a new blog post. You fans are so demanding! Forgive me. I've been very busy with one of my several jobs.

In case you weren't aware, I have several roles in our little family.

Mayes, you have to pull your own weight, Mom says.

I say back, but I WEIGH FOUR POUNDS! How much is there for me to pull? Then Mom

threatens to close off my window perch.

And that would just be more than I can bear... so. I got a few gigs on the side.

First, I'm a guard dog, clearly. I'm fairly sure I've saved my mother's life more than once. Take last night for example. Mom, as some of you are aware, is not exactly herself lately. So it shouldn't come as a total surprise that when she got ready to leave for work today she couldn't find her keys.

Know where they were?

In the front door.

In the lock.

OUTSIDE. They had been there all night. Keys in door. Door unlocked.

Now, tell me, dear readers, who do you think protected her and my Grandling (Mom's mama) all night long? Oh, yes. You've got it. The guard dog.

There is just something about my grrr....and then the grrr....

And after that another...grrrr!

And criminals run in fear.

Wonder if that's why mom's still single?

Anyway. I digress.

So that's one key job. I'm doing pretty well in that department. I'll likely get a pay raise soon.

By night I'm a guard dog. By day I'm a professional napper.

I passed three different exams in the School of Nap and graduated top of my class. Some people struggle with their lack of skill in this area. I am likely going to offer workshops this fall. Keep your eyes peeled for details. If anyone can teach you how to better your ability to nap, it is me, The Mae Mae.

A bonus in my line of work is that when companies notice an elite skill, they latch onto it. In my case, the moguls at the Snuggie Company hired me to continue in my nap excellence whilst modeling their line of blanket-wear. In case you were ever contemplating purchasing a Snuggie, hesitate no more. You, too, can look this hot (well, maybe not THIS hot, but close) while napping:

The side income from being a Snuggie cover girl has helped pay a lot of bills. Good thing, too, as we've got a number of outside costs this year we need to dig ourselves out of.

Which brings me to my final line of work and the one that has currently commanding my life. And my mother's.

Dr. Mayes Capitol Courage, M.D., D.D.S., Ph.D. and so on.

I currently cover a number of shifts and look after several patients. Mom's priority #1 but I have other folks for whom I care deeply. (And more, but I just can't hyperlink to them! SOCIAL MEDIA, peeps. GET INTO IT.)

So. Now you know why posting has been lighter than I'd intended. I'll try and be better ... until then, keep in mind you can also follow my life (and my crazy mother's) through Twitter. Once we're across the pond next week, we'll be posting photos via Twitter inbetween blog posts.

http://twitter.com/mlswann

Oh, and one more thing. I'm reopening comments. So post your love people...and use lots of hyperbole. It is my favorite.