I take back all the nice things I said about my mother. Why? Well. I would let these photos speak for themselves but ... I just need to be certain you're all aware of how mean she can actually be.
And how often she picks work over me.
And how often she picks ANYTHING over me.
Tonight my hopes and dreams for endless time with my mother has come to screeching halt. She is packing a suitcase. And I've seen her flight schedule.
She ain't taking me.
Mom keeps saying she is doing this for US. Working to ensure we still have a roof over our heads and can pay our bills. Personally, I don't get it. What does Kentucky have that I don't? Her boss? Sure. Her boss' constituents? Of course. But ... c'mon. SEND ME. I'm the winner.
At any rate. I am hurt.
And to add insult to injury, Mom's leaving me before Halloween. So I'm having to celebrate now. Mom didn't bother to ask ME WHAT I WANTED TO BE THIS YEAR...
Much like last. Shall I remind you?
Does that look like a happy bumble bee to you? Buzz off, ok?
So this year, mom trucks home not only with news that she's off to campaign for a week, but IN ADDITION she whips out not one but TWO Howl-o-Ween costumes.
Costume Numero Uno (further illustrating my mother's selfishness: she is obsessed with frogs. Always has been. I am not a fan of frogs. Or of this get up. But who cares? It is all about MOM):
Mom I am so not about this....
Please stop saying the word "treat," ok? I can SEE THAT YOU ARE EMPTY HANDED.
I guess you can't deny, however, that I am about the cutest dang frog there ever was. Gimme a kiss....
Now I will say costume number two was a little better. It accents my curves.
Displays my undeniable intelligence.
And reminds everyone that I am THE BEST caretaker in this household.
Now this makes even more sense considering I will be on call in December. Working a serious "house call," if you will. Mama is having her sinuses destroyed and I will clearly have to bring her back to health.
More than likely I'll scrub in on the surgery itself. I'll keep you posted.
Happy Howl-O-Ween, everyone. Don't forget to vote.
Love, Licks, And Conservative Values Bark-ever and Ever,
Dr. Mayes Capitol Courage
